Memories
by nv03
Summary: Harry is given a journal which tells him more about his father. Contains OOTP spoilers
1. Default Chapter

I don't own Harry Potter or any associated characters used in this story. JK Rowling wrote the books and owns the characters  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Harry sat in his room at number 4 Privet Drive, tears streaming down his face, he tried not to think of that fateful night in the Department of Mysteries when Sirius, his Godfather and the closest thing to a parent he had since his parents had been killed by Voldemort when he was one, had died trying to save him.  
  
It didn't matter what he did he just couldn't keep his mind off of Sirius. The only other constant thought he had was what he had seen in Snape's pensieve in the previous year. It had certainly painted a different picture of his father and now he was torn between his fathers's friends telling him that he was a great guy and Snape telling him how arrogant his father was.  
  
Harry looked at his clock and it read 11.59 on the 30th July which meant that he would be 16 in a minute, not that he felt like celebrating. He had never really looked forward to his birthday and for the first 10 years of his life no one acknowledged that he had one, least not the Dursleys.  
  
Speaking of the Dursleys, they had been quite nice to him so far that summer but Harry suspected that it had more to do with the threat of a group of wizards landing on his doorstep if he was mistreated more than anything else. Although Dumbledore had explained the reason why he had to go back to the Dursleys every summer it didn't make it any easier. He longed to be at the burrow with Ron and Hermione.  
  
Harry's thoughts were interrupted by a hooting outside the window. It was Hedwig carrying a letter. It was from Ron.  
  
Hi Harry,  
How are you? Happy Birthday, Hope the muggles  
Are treating you Ok. Not sure when we're going to  
See you- Dumbledore can't decide when to call for  
You.  
  
See you Soon  
Ron Ps Good luck with your Owls  
  
That last comment made Harry angry- he still felt bitter towards Dumbledore for not telling him about the prophecy sooner- If he had known about the prophecy he might not have been lured to the Department of Mysteries and maybe Sirius wouldn't have died.  
  
Sighing he put the letter on the shelf and tried to get some sleep. Predictably he had nightmares about Sirius falling through the veil. He wished there was something that could dull the pain and stop him having nightmares. There is Dreamless Sleep potion, Harry mused but that would mean talking to Snape. Harry hated Snape and he was sure that the feeling was mutual.  
  
Harry was woken the next morning by Uncle Vernon shouting "Shut those ruddy owls up boy" but trying to sound polite about it. He sat up in bed and put his glasses on and opened the window to let Hedwig and the school owl in.  
  
The letter bought by Hedwig was by Remus Lupin who told him that he needed to go to Mrs Figg's house that afternoon and the 2nd letter was the results of his O.W.L.S  
  
Defence against the Dark Arts O Potions O Care of Magical Creatures E History of Magic D Astronomy P Diviniation P Herbologhy A  
  
Harry couldn't believe it- he was expecting to get an O in DADA but potions!! He was glad he got onto the courses needed for his future career but it also meant putting up with Snape's taunts for another 2 years. With any luck he'll just ignore me thought Harry.  
  
At 2.30 that afternoon, Harry said goodbye to the Dursleys and went over to Mrs Figg where he was met by Remus Lupin " Hey Harry, Happy Birthday" he said and pulled out a bag which he than gave to Harry. The bag contained 2 books on becoming an Auror and a moving picture of the Marauders and Lily on their Graduation Day. Harry took one look at it and burst into tears.  
  
Lupin tried to comfort him. " I know you miss them Harry, I do too, there isn't a day that goes by when I don't miss or think about your parents or Sirius but no matter what happens, theyr'll always be there looking over you. Sirius was really proud of you and I'm sure your parents would be if they were here now."  
  
After a moment's silence, Lupin said " Lets go" "Are we going to the Burrow" asked Harry. "No" said Lupin as he threw the floo powder in the fire and said:  
  
"12 Grimmauld Place" 


	2. Grimmauld Place

Memories: Chapter 2  
  
Disclaimer: See previous chapter Authors note: Thanks to HermioneGreen and englishgirl for their kind reviews. I forgot to mention it in the last chapter but Harry got E's in transfiguration and charms.  
  
Grimmauld Place  
  
Harry and Lupin landed with a thud in a fireplace at 12 Grimmauld Place. It had a lot of memories in this house. It was the headquarters of the Phoenix as well as being Sirius's family estate and Harry wasn't sure whether he was ready to be back here just yet..  
  
"Why did you take me here and not to the Burrow" asked Harry  
  
"You need to be here because Sirius's will is going to be read out tomorrow" responded Lupin.  
  
At that moment Molly Weasley came out of the kitchen and embraced Harry. "How are you bearing up Harry?" Harry mumbled something about being fine but having felt a lot better. "Why don't you go upstairs and see Ron and Hermione Harry, we're just about to have a meeting but we'll called you when it's over" said Molly.  
  
Typical, Harry thought, he never got told what was going on in the order, any important information he was told normally came too late anyway, he didn't even know if they would let Harry join the Order when he was old enough anyway.  
  
Harry went upstairs but stopped just before he got to the spare room where Ron and Hermione were. True he had wanted to see them ever since he had left Hogwarts for the summer but he was worried that they wanted to talk about the department of mysteries and that was the last thing Harry wanted to talk about. He was also hoping that Hermione didn't advise him to resume Occulemency with Snape.  
  
He decided to go to Sirius's room instead. Harry knew that it would contain painful memories but he would feel closer to him. He locked the door and sat there remembering the short time that he knew Sirius.  
  
All of a sudden, Harry heard a soft voice say "Alohomorah" and enter. Harry looked around expecting to see Lupin but came face to face with his Potion's master Professor Snape.  
  
" Mr Potter, fancy seeing you here" drawled Snape  
  
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?" responded Harry angrily. He had a nerve coming here he doesn't even care that Sirius is dead he thought.  
  
"You should really learn control your temper Potter. If I am not mistaken you left Dumbledore's office in quite a state last time you lost your temper" said Snape and before Harry could interrupt him he continued, "While I am here I may as well congratulate you on getting into my advanced potions class, it would appear that you have a brain after all, though I can't possibly imagine when you found the time to study in between getting into trouble, looking into people's personal thoughts and how can we forget playing the hero.... Very touching"  
  
"SHUT UP, I HATE YOU" shouted Harry and without thinking Harry pulled his wand out of his backpocket and pointed it straight at Snape. "tut tut Mr Potter will you never learn that you can't do magic in the holidays until you are of age" Snape scowled at him before saying, " In response to your first question I am here to get an important document for the order. Good Day" Then Snape stalked down the stairs, his black robes billowing behind him.  
  
Still furious with Snape he went into the spare room where he was greeted by Ron and Hermione. "Happy Birthday mate" said Ron "Sorry we didn't send your presents via an owl but we wanted to give it to you in person" Haermione had been to Bulgaria for a week to visit Viktor Krum and had brought back an animated guide to international quidditch customs. Ron bought him back a mini Snitch and Fred and George gave him some stuff from their jokeshop.  
  
"Thanks guys" said Harry trying to sound cheerful but Ron and Hermione figured that there was something wrong. "What's wrong" asked Hermione so Harry told them both about his encounter with Snape. " I can't believe it, the guy can't even lay off you at a time like this at least you don't have to put up with him at school anymore"  
  
"Actually I do" said Harry, "I got an outstanding in potions"  
  
"Wow, I got an acceptable in mine and Hermione got outstanding in everything "said Ron. Before they could continue their conversation Mrs Weasley called them down for dinner.  
  
Dinner that evening was a solemn affair and nobody really spoke apart from Remus who detailed the plans for the reading of Sirius's will and a memorial the next day.  
  
Harry woke up the next day feeling completely empty. He didn't want to say goodbye because that meant accepting that he was never coming back and that was just too much to take at the moment. He didn't know what time it was but Ron and Hermione weren't there and Harry assumed that they had gone downstairs for breakfast. He washed, tried to flatten his hair and pulled on a pair of black robes.  
  
After breakfast Ron, Hermione, Harry and the main members of the order were ushered into a drawing room by Lupin. The room was decorated with pictures of Sirius on the walls, when everyone was seated Lupin gave a speech recalling the good times that they had as the Marauders and a few other memories, when he had finished he asked Harry to make a speech.  
  
Harry wasn't prepared for this and after a short pause he began, "I didn't know you for very long but you were the best godfather I could have asked for. I miss you and wish you were still here. Where are you now? Are you with Mum and Dad? If you are tell them that I love them and that I miss them and that I'll make them proud of me- Goodbye Padfoot"  
  
After lunch it was the time to read Sirius's will. Remus got some of Sirius's old schools things and Harry got left 12 Grimmauld Place which will be looked after by the order until Harry reaches 18. He also got a box with a letter addressed to him. It read:  
  
Dear Harry,  
  
If you're reading this then it means that I am no longer in the realms of the living. Enclosed in this package is a journal of your father's which will tell you about his school life and beyond. He asked me to give it to you shortly before he died so that you would know a bit about your parents but as you know I was in Azkaban for 12 years and I didn't give it you when I escaped for fear of it being intercepted. So I am giving it to you now.  
  
Goodbye Harry, I'll always be there  
  
Snuffles. 


	3. The 1st 2 entries

Author's note: Thanks again to the people who have reviewed my story it's very encouraging. If you have any suggestions on how to improve it or where you want the story to go than feel free to e-mail me.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any other characters in the story  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Harry took the package upstairs to his room and carefully removed the diary from it. It was rather worn and had James Potter written on the front of it. Harry opened it and began to read.  
  
July 24th  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I got my Hogwarts acceptance letter today I'm so excited and I can't wait to go. I've heard so much about the school- there are some exceptional wizards that have graduated from there. My parents are so pleased for me- they went to Hogwarts too and they were both in Gryffindor so I hope I get placed there and not in Slytherin- rumour has it that Voldemort and most of the Deatheaters were in that house. Going to Diagon Alley next week to get my school supplies and a new broomstick so I'm eagerly anticipating that.  
  
Speak Soon  
  
James  
  
Before Harry could turn the page he heard Remus call up to him "Dumbledore's here, he wants to speak to you" "Coming" said Harry. What's he doing here thought Harry. He really didn't want to see Dumbledore because he was still angry with him for not telling about the Prophecy at the earliest opportunity rather than waiting until someone had died.  
  
Harry went down the stairs and was greeted by Dumbledore. "Good afternoon Harry" "Good Afternoon Professor Dumbledore" responded Harry. There was a long silence before Dumbledore said "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about the Prophecy before, I just couldn't find the words to say- How are you supposed to tell a 15 year old boy that he's either going to die or be killed"  
  
"I understand that", said Harry "but I'd rather know the truth than be lied to- and I'm sorry that I smashed up your office last year"  
  
"I don't blame you- you had just seen your Godfather die and then you heard the details of the prophecy- I guess all your grief and anger had to go somewhere" said Dumbledore  
  
There was a burning question that Harry wanted to ask Dumbledore, he hesitated for the moment and than decided to ask it. "Professor Dumbledore, will I have to resume Occulemency with Snape?"  
  
"Professor Snape Harry," said Dumbledore softly but firmly. "I personally think that resuming Occulemency will be beneficial to you. However I think it will be counter-productive to resume it with Professor Snape- there's too much water under the bridge- so I will try and get someone that is willing to teach you instead but you will need to speak to Professor Snape and apologise for looking into his pensieve".  
  
Harry didn't look too impressed by this. He bid farewell to Dumbledore and went up to his room to read another diary entry before he went to bed. This entry was about going to Hogwarts.  
  
September 1st  
  
Dear Diary  
  
Well this is the day I go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and I have just arrived at Platform 9 ¾ at Kings Cross Station, London. After saying goodbye to my parents I board the train with my owl. All the compartments are full apart from One. I enter the compartment and ask the boy sitting there if I can join him. He sneers at me and says "If you really have to". I take a dislike to him almost immediately. I find out that his name is Severus Snape and that he is very much into the Dark Arts- no surprises for guessing what house he'll be in. After about 10 minutes another boy comes in. He introduces himself as Sirius Black and we hit it off almost immediately and it turns out that we both have a passion for playing tricks and Quidditch.2 boys called Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew come into our compartment too. Remus was very quiet but he seemed nice enough. I was somewhat wary of Peter but I couldn't put my finger on why at the time. After it had seemed like we had travelled for hours I got my first glimpse of the school- it was amazing I had never seen such a beautiful sight.  
  
James Potter 


	4. More Memories and Diagon Alley

Memories: Chapter 4  
  
Authors note Sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter up. I've had loads of assignments to do!!  
  
Disclaimer: See previous Chapters  
  
Harry awoke the next morning a lot happier than he had felt in a long time- he was finally finding out what his father was really like. One thing still troubled him though- why had he done what he did to Snape and where did he draw the line? He assumed that diary entry would come later.  
  
Harry stretched, sat up in bed and put on his glasses. It must still be early thought Harry judging by the fact that Ron and Hermione were still asleep. He decided he would pass the time before breakfast by reading some more of his Dad's diary. He picked up the book where he left off. This particular memory was of the sorting.  
  
September 1st  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Well it's time for the sorting- with any luck I'll get sorted into Griffindor like my parents. Sirius said that he wanted to be sorted into Griffindor too though his family would prefer it if he was sorted into Slytherin. I hate the Dark Arts always have, always will. We all sit down and wait for it to start.  
  
After the sorting came the beginning of term feast. It was a time to get stuffed and a time to get to know the people in your house. Me, Sirius, Remus and Peter all got into Griffindor. I hope that we all become good friends. A girl called Lily Evans also got sorted into Griffindor. She was stunning, a bit stuck up mind you. I wonder what she thinks of me?  
  
Snape or Snivellus as we called him, as he kept sniffing on the train, got sorted into Slytherin of course. He had better not get on the wrong side of me. I have neither the time nor the patience for the Slytherins.  
  
Speak Soon  
  
James  
  
He shut the diary vowing to read more when he got back from Diagon Alley and went down to breakfast.  
  
After breakfast they took the floo network to Diagon Alley. It was packed as you would expect at that time of year. There were old and young wizards alike many of then were buying school supplies for the upcoming year at Hogwarts. He hoped that he didn't see Draco Malfoy here as he would still want revenge for his father getting locked up in Azkaban.  
  
After going to Flourish and Blotts to buy their reading lists for their advanced NEWT classes and Hermione and Harry going to the Apothecary to buy their potions they all headed to the leaky cauldron where they sat for the rest of the afternoon eating ice cream sundaes, drinking butterbeer and basking in the glorious sunshine.  
  
After their trip to Diagon Alley, the rest of the holidays were devoted to lazing around, doing assignments and playing quidditch though Harry had to watch as he still didn't have his firebolt. Soon enough it was time to return to Hogwarts. Harry was in two minds about going back. On one hand he saw Hogwarts as the only place he could call home and he wanted to continue the DA (if possible) so he wanted to go back, on the other hand he would probably have people asking him about what happened at the ministry and he didn't want to talk about it and he also had to apologise to Snape. He hated Snape more than ever and thought that Snape had more reason to apologise than he did. 


	5. Back to Hogwarts

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or places in this story they all belong to JK Rowling.  
  
Chapter 5: Back to Hogwarts  
  
Twelve Grimmauld Place was a hive of activity on the morning of September 1st as Ron, Hermione, Harry and Ginny got ready for another year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Harry, Ron and Hermione-the golden trio- were entering their 6th year and Ron's younger sister Ginny was starting her 5th year.  
  
They were all hoping that they weren't going to be asked to give their accounts of what happened last year in the Department of Mysteries. While the physical scars had faded the emotional scars were harder to heal especially for Harry.  
  
At ten o clock Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Lupin, Moody and two other members of the order set off to Kings Cross Station so Ginny and the trio could catch the Hogwarts Express which was to leave at 11.00. They decided to use Muggle Transport to get there.  
  
They got to Kings Cross Station in plenty of time and before they knew it, it was 11.00 and the students were about to board the Hogwarts Express. Lupin pulled Harry into a tight hug and said "Take good care of yourself, I'm really going to miss you. I now have Sirius's mirror I understand you have the other mirror so if you ever want a listening ear or someone is giving you a hard time just use it to talk to me" "Thanks Remus" said Harry, "I'm going to miss you too"  
  
Once they were on the train, Harry,Ron and Hermione found a compartment while Ginny went off on her own to talk to some fellow 5th years. After a while Neville Longbottom came into their compartment. He had got a lot more confident in himself over the summer and proudly exclaimed that he had got Exceeds Expectation in his DADA. He had also got an acceptable on potions. That may not seem very good to most people but for Neville Longbottom, this was a great achievement. The journey was uneventful and before they knew it they were in Hogsmeade boarding the Thestral drawn coaches to Hogwarts.  
  
Once at Hogwarts, everyone filed into the Great Hall for the sorting and the feast and as they did every year everyone looked at the staff table to see who the new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher was but this year there was an empty seat. "I wonder who the New DADA teacher is?" said Hermione. "It had better not be Snape" moaned Ron. "Maybe we should ask Dumbledore after the feast" said Harry but there was no need as at that moment Dumbledore cleared his throat and began to speak: "As you have probably noticed there is not a new Defence against the Dark Arts teacher this year, Regrettably I have been unable to find a new teacher for this year so I have decided to teach the subject myself" Everyone cheered at this with the exception of Snape and the Slytherins who merely glared. "Anyone who wants extra practice- I believe that Mr Potter is running a Defence Club" with this he closed his speech and gave out timetables.  
  
Harry and Hermione looked at their timetables in shock because their first lesson of the year was double Potions with the Slytherins "How am I going to survive 2 hours in the same room with Malfoy and Snape?" Harry moaned. "How do you know Malfoy even passes potions?" argued Hermione. "I just know, anyway Snape would let Malfoy in his class if he failed he's his favourite"  
  
After the feast, Dumbledore summoned Harry to his office. "How are you bearing up Harry?" "Ok" said Harry, "It's still painful but having that service helped me to say goodbye" Dumbledore smiled warmly at Harry "I assume you want to continue with the DA?" "Yes" said Harry. "Good, One more thing before you go, I believe this belongs to you" Dumbledore gave Harry back his Firebolt. Harry smiled and went to the the Gryffindor's boys dormitories.  
  
Harry got up the next day dreading his first lesson. He even considered not getting up but he decided that he wouldn't give Snape any reason to give him a hard time. Half an hour later him and Hermione were standing outside the dungeons.a couple of minutes after they arrived Snape strode down the corridor and beckoned them all in. When they were all in their seats he began "Welcome to my advanced NEWT class. You may have all done sufficiently well enough to get into my class but I have no doubt that some of you", looks at Harry, "got in by a stroke of luck rather than adept potions making. This year and the next you will be brewing some advanced but useful potions but today I will just be outlining the potions I expect you to make, to a standard that is acceptable to me, get your quills out and pay attention"  
  
The lesson went by quickly, especially for a theory lesson and before they knew it the lesson had come to an end. Harry stayed behind after everyone else had left. He knew that if he had to apologize to Snape then he might as well do it now.  
  
"Professor Snape?" said Harry. "What is it Potter? Don't tell me you don't understand basic theory" "No Sir I understand the theory perfectly well" said Harry "I owe you an apology for not trying with Occulemency and for looking in your Pensieve- I know it was wrong and I was shocked to see what my father did"  
  
"Apology accepted Potter, now if you haven't got anything else to say please leave as I have better things to do with my time than make small talk with you" Anger flashed in Harry's eyes "Don't you think you owe me an apology, you did after all physically throw me out of your office" Snape sighed "What part of leave do you not understand Potter?" Harry gave Snape a furious glare before going to speak to Dumbledore.  
  
Harry gave the password and entered Dumbledore's office. "Good morning Harry, what's wrong?" Harry told Dumbleore how he had apologized and how Snape had accepted the apology but had not returned. Dumbledore sighed deeply before going to the fireplace to summoning Severus. A few moments later Harry saw his potions master clambering out of Dumbledore's fireplace. "You called Albus", "Yes Severus, I believe there is something you need to say to Mr Potter" " Snape sneered " I have got nothing to say to Mr. Potter" " How about sorry" said Albus " Ever since Harry came to this school you have punished him for something his father did to you twenty years ago and I think that warrants an apology" Severus opened his mouth to argue but Albus shot him a glare that rivaled his own so he reluctantly apologized" Harry out of politeness accepted the apology  
  
"Now if you don't mind Severus, there is something I need to discuss with Harry" said Albus and with that Snape left. Dumbledore then turned to Harry "As I discussed with you earlier in the summer it would be beneficial for you to learn Occulemency and as I couldn't find a replacement for Professor Snape I will teach you myself. Please report to my office every Tuesday evening at 8.00" "OK" said Harry and with that he left. Harry reluctantly went to his Occulemency lesson the following evening. He was dreading anyone looking at his memories even if he did like them. Harry tried his best to relax and when Dumbledore thought he was ready he shouted "Legilimens". Harry relived his early childhood memories like the Dursleys locking him in the cupboard and Dudley beating him up. All of the sudden he managed to fight off the curse and instead of seeing his own memories he saw a young wizard standing in the rubble of a house that had just been attacked by Grindewald and his followers. Dumbledore lifted the curse. "Well done Harry, you did really well there." "Thanks" said Harry "Is that what made you so determined to fight against the Dark side "asked Harry referring to Dumbledore's memory "That among other things" said Dumbledore and with that they said goodnight. Harry slept that night safe in the knowledge that he had made some real progress,  
  
The term was speeding by. Occulemency was going well even though he still couldn't block out some of the more painful memories he had and the DA club was also keeping him busy. The first Quidditch match, Gryffindor vs Slytherin, was getting ever closer and training was tight,  
  
The eve of the match finally came and Harry was anticipating a big game. He was going to win and he was going to dedicate the win to Sirius. As Harry laid in bed he wondered what his Dad felt before a Quidditch match, he got out the diary and found two diary entries,  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Quidditch trials were held yesterday. I love Quidditch it's just so exhilarating soaring to get the snitch and dodging Bludgers etc .Anyway I found out today that I got picked as seeker!! Sirius and Remus are really happy for me, Evans tries to pretend she doesn't care but I bet she does deep down. She always pretends that she doesn't like me but she loves me really  
  
Anyway, got to go, Quidditch calls  
  
James  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
It's the night before my first Quidditch match. It's Gryffindor vs Slytherin- this should be interesting. The Slytherin seeker is a guy called Lucius Malfoy. He thinks he's cool but I'm a far better player than he'll ever be.  
  
James  
  
The Match was about to start. Everyone was sitting in the stands cheering their respective teams on. Flint and Johnson shook hands and then Madame Hooch blew the whistle. The game started badly for Gryffindor- they were 30- 10 down and it looked like Slytherins were about to score again when Harry saw the Snitch, he swooped down to get it, Draco Malfoy hot on his heels. A great cheer was heard from Gryffindor supporters as Harry wrapped his fingers around the Snitch-they had won!!  
  
Harry had one last Occulemency lesson before term ended. Dumbledore gave Harry a couple of minutes to prepare before saying Legilimens. Harry relived looking into Snape's pensieve and then Snape's reaction when he came back and found Harry invading his private thoughts. Dumbledore watched this with a shocked expression on his face before lifting the curse and dismissing Harry. Dumbledore shut the door behind him fuming. His potion's master had a lot of explaining to do. 


End file.
